A while back, like while potty training my 2nd child, I posted something on Facebook to the effect of: “Potty training sucks. And to all you moms who tell me I will miss this someday I say…I will NEVER miss the poop. “
Now, While I don’t exactly miss the poop, The idea of being in charge of someone’s whole day from start to finish, including personal hygiene, was shall we say MUCH easier than what lies ahead 10 years later.
I still have a 5 year old so not all is lost on controlling the majority someone’s day and I am occasionally needed in the loo but let me break down what’s been swirling around my (and many of my friends- don’t lie) heads lately.
Phase 1: Baby. The first baby, a baby boy, so unreal and foreign and cute and amazing and hard and sleepless, and messy and traumatizing and expensive and crazy and….NO. I wish I would’ve realized how awesome and I’m gonna say it…easier it was while it was happening. Which is why I enjoyed the second one’s first year much better.
Phase 2: toddler to little kid. so much running and bending and standing and running and playing and cleaning and running. BUT, you’re still happy to be out of the baby phase and they’re totally cute and it didn’t matter if the f-bomb flew out of their mouths at age 3 because it was soo f-ing cute. And as they get bigger like 7 thru 9 it’s all still cute (but not the f-bomb analogy anymore), playing with legos, and light sabers and making friends and talking about pokemon cards, and learning how to play sports for real but still just caring about the ice cream after the game.
Phase 3: I started to really miss babies about 4-6 months ago.
Whether or not you see it coming it literally happens over night. The bedroom door is closed as they are getting ready for school or anything. They have an actual opinion about things and know stuff. Like smart stuff, history and math and science and they are not at all afraid to tell you when you are wrong. They lean in for a hug in stead of run into your arms.
And they are most likely staring at a screen of some kind for 60% of their waking hours. You can try and take the various devices away but you are also probably staring at one yourself so….you pick the argument you’d rather have. Also:
Dear Black, you bought them those devices. Love, Kettle.
On the other hand, Phase 3-ers still really love you too and they are not ready to fully let go of the Legos and Pokemon cards yet, and will still ask to sleepover in your room with little sis when dad is away. So there’s still time I realize to remember these little things before I forget. (as first depicted in the Baby Phase of baby #1)
So out of the blue I found this book that was recommended by one of my favorite Blogs http://www.dinneralovestory.com
It’s about remembering the times that are happening before you forget them. Like, in the moment kind of stuff. Stuff I started to finally watch for with my 5 year old when I left my old career and started spending more time with her. It’s harder with the Phase 3-ers because they’re not home as much… Sports, activities and friends pull them away after school and weekends. But the book talks about even when you’re waiting for them in the car at the field or school, watch that time and remember it before you forget to.
Imma gonna try.
I also recently gave my Phase 3-er a room makeover. So It’s been a while since it looked like this but here’s how we started in Phase 1:
I think I should mention this was back before iPhone pics were the norm and also back when I (ehem..) actually scrapbooked. I mean come on. Little miss Eloise was lucky to get a few pics a month shared over Facebook. Don’t feel too bad though, she holds her own now…and usually runs the show.
Back to the new room for my Phase 3-er. We, no I, went to the paint store and brought home swatches. He picked a fantastic color. I spent 13 hours painting the ceiling 3 times and the walls twice. We kept the furniture he had since big boy room makeover in Phase 2 and the Pottery Barn bedding I thought was so necessary to a 4 year old’s bedroom six years ago; thank God I didn’t pick out a character theme back then or soccer wouldn’t be the only thing that costs $900…he walked in when it was all done and said “cool, thanks”.
We also scaled back on the amount of things he had taped and pinned to the wall in the past 2 years and came to a compromise. We did not let go of all those Lego creations, some of which took days to finish. We’re both not ready yet. So I made showcase cubes out of an ikea unit and added colorful backing. Below are the results of the Phase 3 makeover:
So for now I think this will suffice for the perfect Phase 3-er escape. Most times it looks like this but at least I still can barge in whenever I want.
Apparently watching British teens play video games instead of actually playing them yourself is a thing. And, being the best big brother that he could be…Little miss E is still welcome to hang.
Phase 3-er in the making.